My Take on Mother's Day

I want to be clear right off the bat.  I had a good mother, although for only nine brief years of my life.  I had many mother-figures, or stand-in moms if you will, to help fill the void after her death.  Not to mention a first-rate dad.  I grew up believing adults were kind and safe and good.  Hence, I have always projected that image onto God, whom I credit for my happy life.  Furthermore, I was and am a good mom.  I don't feel guilt.  I was not perfect by any means, but I know I did my best in raising my kids.  Their childhoods were happy and secure.  Top that off with the dearest husband this world has ever produced.  I am and always have been blessed beyond words.

But Mother's Day kind of irritates me and here's why.

Greeting card and florist industries have fostered the obligation that anyone with a mother, must spend time and resources one certain day each year, so as to avoid hurt on her part, and guilt on everyone else's.  Of course it is all meant to be an expression of love and/or honor, but why on this one day?  Why is this one Sunday in May any different than the other 364 days on the calendar?  Who gave this one day such power over us?

Phone calls, gifts, visits, flowers and whatnot .... who doesn't love them?  But not mixed with obligation.  When the two elements are combined, the result is too often duty and a checklist.  It is the difference, on the part of the giver, between being prodded and reminded to express love .... and simply wanting to.   In my opinion, expressions of love should be motivated by that love.  And not by anything else.

But each year, against my will, somehow this one day messes with my head and creates an expectation in me that I am owed something.  The meal not cooked by me.  The cookie at church.  (I've even been known, to my shame, to grumble inwardly when it WASN'T a cookie but was a silly flower that rarely made it home intact ......)  The call.  The card.  The gift.  And, in spite of my best efforts to expect nothing, I still kind of do.  And why?  I can attend church every other Sunday of the year and NOT be handed a cookie and am fine with it.  Any other day can go by without hearing from my kids and I still feel loved.  In other words, Mother's Day foists upon me annoying feelings of obligation and entitlement which somehow detract from the love expressed.

Needless to say, I won't wear a tacky corsage on Mother's Day to show the world that my husband has done his job and one-up the poor woman whose husband hasn't.

Imagine for a moment, or think back to when ..... you got a random phone call, a note, a Facebook message, a gift, an act of service ..... FOR NO REASON OTHER THAN SOMEONE THOUGHT OF YOU.   You must admit, you were touched to your core, were't you.  It zinged right into your heart, didn't it.  This is what I mean.  There was no expectation nor obligation nor a date on the calendar .... just love ... and thoughtfulness.  To me, THAT is what a gift should be.

I know my kids love me.  I feel it from them every time I'm around them.  And we say it.  The greatest gift they can give me is their own happiness.  Regarding my own mother, I honor her often in my heart.  Therefore, I don't need a Mother's Day.  I have it EVERY day.