My Epiphany on Love

I get epiphanies now and then, and when I do, it's a personal landmark.  Sometimes I might get one or two a year.  Sometimes less.  Rarely more.  So when one happens, I sit up and take notice.  Recently I had two in one day.

I define epiphanies as those moments when a true spiritual principle, zings into my brain, the mental light bulbs flash, and something that I had never really thought about, suddenly becomes clear and logical.  I learned also that my epiphany will likely not be your epiphany.  If I explain it to you with all my inner gusto, you will likely respond with -- Yeah ... and?  But I want to share it anyway, not for you necessarily, but to document it for myself.

I believe in the principle of spiritual gifts.  These gifts come from God, and there is an endlessly long list of them.  A few examples:  Patience.  Compassion.  Belief.  Discernment.  Desire for knowledge.  Faith.  I believe that all these qualities are part of God, and our goal is to become like Him. So little by little, we strive for, and cultivate these qualities.

They are gifts because they are given freely.  "Ask and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:" (Matthew 7:7)   Some gifts are just naturally there, and some we need to sincerely ask for.  It's that sincerity part that can trip us up.  We have to truly want it and that's where the striving comes into play.

So ..... love.  It too is a spiritual gift.  And here's how my epiphany came about.  A little less than a year ago, Husband and I were reassigned in our church to serve in a congregation of 18 to 30 year olds.  We are there to provide stability, support, and some leadership.  One of the gals who served as the president of the women's organization within this group, would tell us ALL THE TIME how much the Lord loves us.  In my church, I've heard it more times than I can count.

Yes, yes, I'd think as I have thought a million times.  I know He does.  Thank you for the reminder.   But watching this cute little gal, who was barely over 5 feet tall if that, shy and uncomfortable in front of people, quiet yet always smiling ..... I realized something.  She KNOWS this.  She KNOWS God loves us.  And HOW does she know?  Because SHE LOVES US.

In our church, when you are given an assignment to work with a particular group of people, you almost inevitably grow to love them, and often rather quickly.  (I've always heard you grow to love those you serve, but I've often felt that didn't necessarily work for me.  I mean, in all honesty, I have a hard time loving someone who has let their house dwindle into a state of horrible neglect, who then needs my help sorting and cleaning which is what they should have been doing all along ..... or needs help moving but hasn't even started gathering boxes before the trucks arrive ...... and as you see by my whining, I don't quite have the gift of compassion locked down.)  But I know that whenever I have served as a teacher, I LOVE my class.  I LOVE the people who actually come trusting that I will not waste their time.  Many times I have felt gratitude that they allowed me to teach their class.

My point:  How does that love happen?  What causes it?  It is a gift ..... directly from God, that seems to come with that assignment.  But not just that.  It is a bit of HIS love, channeled through us.  HE loves these people and He wants me to tell them.

The morning after the birth of my first baby, after a long labor and all the trauma and excitement, and after I had had a chance to sleep, the nurse brought in this little bundled stranger and actually left him alone with me in all my ineptness.  I remember his eyes looked very furrowed and serious, as if he was dubiously sizing up this silly 21 year old girl who was supposed to be his mother.  "Do you KNOW what you're doing??" he seemed to say.  As I held him I remember quite vividly, in a single moment, falling deeply in love.  Here was someone I had known for a very short time, yet I suddenly felt like I would do anything to protect him.  The conduit of love from God to a mother is particularly powerful, and it hit me like the proverbial ton of bricks.  And that was, and still is, God's love channeled .... or more like .... gushing through me.  

All love comes from, and is a bit of God's love, and He has an infinite reservoir to share.  My love for my family, for example, is God's love, channeled through me.  Therefore, when I love someone, I KNOW God loves them.  Because it's HIS love for them that I'm feeling.  He loved them first and is sharing some of that love with me.  That thought hit me on a Sunday morning, two weeks ago.  Which segues to the obvious .... the more people we love, or in other words, the more people for whom we feel God's love, the closer we are to being like Him, who loves us all.

And to the non-believer:  What better proof of a God, than the existence/reality of love?

So if you're thinking, Yeah .... and? ... it's okay.  As I said, my epiphanies aren't necessarily anyone else's.

Later, in another post, I'll share the other one I had that day.

"cast your mind upon the night"

Yes, I know.  I said I was condensing my life into my other blog, but you should know by now that my declarations often melt into a puddle of goo when my next whim takes hold.  

So here I am back in my "serious" blog, because I want to record something that is very important to me, for my posterity.  Most of them have heard this story, but now it'll be in written form.  

My religious faith includes what we think of as spiritual experiences.  These are moments when we feel we are being influenced by something or someone beyond this world.  That someone, to me, is God.  And one night in June, of 2004, I had one such experience.  Some background:

It was a few weeks before our youngest son was to leave for two years to serve as a missionary for our church.  He was our third son to serve a mission.  Mormon young men, upon reaching age 19 (today they can go at age 18) have the responsibility to give two years of their lives to the Lord.  They do not choose nor do they find out where they'll serve until a few months before they board the plane.   It could be anywhere from Montana to Mozambique. 

Our oldest son served in Tijuana, Mexico, a place so dangerous that I doubt missionaries are currently found there.  He walked on streets that the police avoided.  Our second son went to Venezuela, where, due to political upheaval, I also strongly doubt you'll encounter missionaries today.  

So by the time our third son came of age, I was ready for somewhere relatively  .... safe.  Each son was different.  Oldest Son had lived away from home and didn't go until he was 22.  He had enough street-smarts that I knew he could take care of himself.  Second Son had always been very adaptable.  He seemed to fit in wherever he went, and made friends fairly easily.  Youngest Son was not as adaptable.  He never liked change.  And instead of him getting called to serve in a non-threatening place like Rigby, Idaho, as I had hoped for, he received his letter directing him to Ecuador.  He was to go the farthest of his brothers.  

Brainless, but well-meaning, friends told me of the dangers lurking in Ecuador.  It has the highest poverty rate in South America.  My less-adaptable son had a LOT of adapting ahead of him.  And I was scared for him.  Really scared.  This 6 foot tall, 19 year old young man was my baby.  

I never told him how frightened I was.  And I honestly don't remember if his own excitement sufficiently crowded out his fears.  Yes, of course he had fears.  He would spend two months in a training school to learn Spanish which he would than have to depend upon for 22 months in a far-away, foreign land with only four phone calls home.  He would not see his family, home, nor anything familiar, for 24 months.   Thank goodness for emails.   I learned later that his older brother told him that if anything scary happened, "Don't tell Mom,"  he said,  "Tell me."  

So back to that few weeks before he was to leave.  We'd been getting all his stuff together, ie, paperwork and legal docs, clothing, immunizations, etc., and the departure time was drawing closer and closer.   Very late one night I couldn't sleep.  My mind was writhing with fear.  Would he struggle?  Would he suffer?  Would he be miserable?  Would it be hard?  

So I got up from bed and went downstairs to the family room.  I knelt down at the couch and hashed it all out with God.  My words rambled as I pleaded for my son ... and for myself.  I remember my head was down on my arms on the couch, and my own breathing seemed loud in my ears, like rushing water.  I repeated over and over my list of worries, crying for help.  Then it happened.

Suddenly everything was still.  My breathing, the rushing sound, my frantic thoughts all seemed to stop.  I felt an intense quiet.  I remember stopping and raising my head, instantly noticing that something was different.  What was it?  It suddenly felt like I was inside a very delicate bubble that was quiet and still, with all the commotion shut outside.  I got up and took a few steps, almost afraid that if I moved too quickly, I'd burst the bubble, allowing the trauma to come rushing back in.  But it didn't.  So I went to bed.  

The next morning I was still inside my peaceful bubble.  Not that I didn't worry at all, but I wasn't afraid anymore.  Those last few weeks flew by with all the packing and preparations, and soon we were off to the airport.  His dad and I decided we would fly to Utah with him, and personally take him to the Mission Training Center in Provo.   Our oldest son and his wife, who lived out of state at the time and didn't get to send off their brother at home, surprised him by arriving in Utah and joining us at the MTC.   We attended the meeting that they used to provide for the families of new missionaries, and then hugged and cried as we watched him walk through a door and out of our sight for two years.   It wasn't until a week later, when we got our first letter, that we learned that within ten minutes of leaving us, he practically bumped into his two best friends who had both arrived there several weeks earlier.  We like to call these little unexpected blessings, "tender mercies".

Best friends throughout childhood

Another tender mercy:  In the MTC at that time, the missionaries were divided into over 100 different congregations, called branches, with adult men assigned to each branch, serving as Branch Presidents, similar to pastors or ministers.  My brother was serving as one of the many Branch Presidents in the MTC at that time.   I have no doubt that the Lord personally did some shuffling and our son miraculously ended up in my brother's branch and under his watch.  During those two months our son was in Provo, I didn't have to depend solely on letters to hear how he was doing.   

There is a scripture in the Doctrine and Covenants that reads, "Verily, verily, I say unto you, if you desire a further witness, cast your mind upon the night that you cried unto me in your heart, that you might know concerning the truth of these things.  Did I not speak peace to your mind concerning the matter?  What greater witness can you have than from God?"  (6:22-23)

The homecoming.  Waiting at the airport.  

My conclusion:  Nine years later, I still draw strength from that night.  I know that our sons' missions were right in the Lord's eyes.  I know how it feels to have the Lord's spirit, AKA the Holy Ghost, enwrap me in peace.  The bubble never burst.  I knew our son would be fine and he was.  In fact he thrived in Ecuador.  He loved his mission and came home able to prattle off Spanish fluently with his two older brothers.

Our three former missionary sons.

As they say in our church, they leave as boys, and come home as men.  The same maturity happens to our young women who are able to go.  And we mothers are reminded that they also have a set of Heavenly Parents who love them and are just as concerned that they make it safely back to the home that matters most.

Leftism, the master of the smear

What has extreme Leftism done well?  How has it affected education, art, science, religion, or society in general?  Not to mention government .... which is a whole other post.   Or maybe I should ask, where has it NOT done damage?

Too many of our universities un-teach the morals and values instilled by parents, at an exorbitantly inflated price, causing back-breaking debt.  Art, which includes movies, has been degraded to include pornography, vulgarity, and immorality, under the misused excuse of Free Speech.  Science has been lowered to accept theories as facts, which are then used to strangle businesses and jobs.   Religion is often mocked and dismissed as irrelevant, or pressured to re-write age-old values and truths to fit the new social norm.

Leftism has hurt families in that it rewards irresponsible behavior with government handouts.  Hence we have generations of children being born into single-parent households, with no father in sight, who then grow up in poverty and repeat the cycle.

But there is one thing extreme Leftism does very well.  So well, it's almost unstoppable.  It is a master at smearing the Right.

It has so skillfully marketed such a pack of lies about the Right, that it's breathtaking.  A few examples:

Conservatism is racist.  There is not a hint of logic in this, yet millions believe it.  If the Right criticizes someone in government who is black, they most certainly will be accused of racism.  Yet the Left ignores the many conservative-leaning black people who are adored by the Right ..... as in Herman Cain, Clarence Thomas, Condie Rice, Alan West, Mia Love, to name a few.

Conservatism does not care.  Oh really?  Who gives more to charity?  Republicans.  Who donates more time through volunteering?   Republicans.   Who joins the military, putting their lives in danger, to fight for the freedom of another?  Mostly Republicans.  Who would LOVE to be let loose to build their businesses and provide jobs???  Republicans.
http://abcnews.go.com/Business/generous-states-charities-lean-republican/story?id=17030246#.UK1N7BxC_UI    http://www.gallup.com/poll/118684/military-veterans-ages-tend-republican.aspx
http://clearwater.patch.com/articles/whos-more-geneours-republicans-or-democrats
http://www.debt.org/faqs/americans-in-debt/economic-demographics-republicans/

The Right is anti-immigration.  Wrong again.  The Right is anti-ILLEGAL-immigration.   We LOVE immigrants who follow the rules.  We LOVE immigrants who come here and assimilate.  We are ALL descendants of such immigrants.  How can we reward someone who broke the law by coming here illegally, then expect someone else to not do the same?  Why have immigration laws, if they can be side-stepped?    

The Right hates (fill in the blank) ....  Homosexuals.  The poor.  Hispanics.  Victims.  Women.  The elderly.  Animals.  Trees. You name it.  This is one of their biggest lies.   Yet the Left has done tremendous damage to minorities.   They have perpetuated the victim mentality and the resentment and entitlement attitude that follows.  They ignore the generations of people of every minority who came to this country and made it through hard work and sacrifice .... motivated by the freedom of being allowed to keep what they earned .... and without the "benevolent" hand of government.   They have twisted values and morals that have existed throughout the ages that we feel are vital for the survival and well-being of individuals, as well as the human race.  And they create fear that, for example, .... the Right will heartlessly throw grandmothers off cliffs, kill people with cancer, ....... and enslave woman by supposedly taking away their birth control, and telling them they are better off married before getting pregnant and that innocent unborn children deserve life.

The extreme Left has mastered the ability of besmirching the Right, through smoke screens and the complete disregard for, or twisting of, facts.   And we, on the Right, run around trying to clear our reputations, waving that all-too-trampled banner called TRUTH, and arguing the same arguments over .... and over .... and over.  

But what else can we do?

Even if it wasn't true .....

We, as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, have been heard to say -- we know the Church is true.  What we mean by that is .... we know, and/or have faith that the gospel, as taught in the Church, is true.  And by THAT we mean it honestly has the correct formula for returning to God, AKA our Father in Heaven, and, in some sense, live with him forever.  That is the bottom line.  I have believed this all my life, with no intention of ever changing my opinion.

But, and admittedly we've ALL had this thought, WHAT IF I learned from some indisputable source ...... that it isn't the true religion?  What would I do?

Well, if I was smart, I'd stay.  I'd remain a member.  Why?  Look at its people.

The people generally are happier and just plain nicer.  Generally, marriages and families are stronger.  (To save time, let's just go ahead and apply the term "generally" to all these statements.)  I particularly appreciate how my religion affects men.  They seem to rise to a higher quality.   They are strong, loyal, and hard-working, yet at the same time, more gentle and respectful.  There is added humility and selflessness that you don't usually see in the rest of the world.  Crudeness, expressed in language and behavior, is rare.  I don't know if I'm making my point clear, but there is a difference and when it's not there, I notice.

LDS people are taught honesty and morality (the type our grandparents took for granted).  In other words, they're taught to walk the walk and they do it.   Of course we're all on different levels of achieving total command of our own weaknesses, but there's an element of effort towards being one's best, in the people of my church.

I'd be foolish to leave something that has steered me safely past many of life's potholes.  Even if the doctrine, which cannot be proven by science, is not real as I believe it to be ... one cannot dispute the better quality of life of its devout members.  That .... IS measurable.  And in my opinion, the alternative is NOT attractive.

Even if it wasn't "true" .....  it DOES motivate and inspire goodness.  And it allows me to mingle with people who manifest that goodness.

Which, to me, says it IS true.  Because it DOES work and the choices and actions of its people, including my own, are the results.  Therefore, staying put is NOT something I keep in question.

Can you blame me?

If you voted for Barack Obama .....

...... would you please answer a few simple questions?

1.  Have you been following the 9/11 Benghazi attack when four Americans, including our ambassador, were killed?  If not, why not?

2.  Do you understand the timeline of the attack including the conflicting explanations by members of the administration that followed?  You can read the detailed timeline here.

3.  Why did the administration claim (numerous times and for several weeks) the attackers were a random mob, enraged by a youtube video, when they KNEW ALMOST IMMEDIATELY, that it was not true?    

4.  Vice President Biden said in his debate, that he and the president DID NOT KNOW that the Libyan consulate had repeatedly requested additional security prior to and including the morning of 9/11, and this security had been DENIED.   This contradicts what others have said, including members of U.S. Intelligence, and also contradicts standard procedure.  There had been several warning attacks on the consulate and danger was growing at an alarming rate ..... yet he said they didn't know??  Can you explain that? 

5.  President Obama continues to insist they are working to get to the bottom of it, and says he will give us the facts as they get them.  So why were they so quick to send out the false story about the video?  This story was repeated by numerous members of the Obama administration, including Hillary Clinton, Jay Carney, and Susan Rice.  What happened to waiting for the facts THEN?  

6.  Why does he evade questions?  Watch this .... if this isn't evasion, then what is?

IF YOU VOTED FOR BARACK OBAMA, did you ASK any of these questions?  Did you even wonder?  Four people, who were in Libya on government assignments, requested help for weeks prior to the attack.  (The British and the Red Cross had already pulled out of Libya, due to mounting danger.)  Then on 9/11, a date that should surprise no one ..... they were killed in a pre-meditated terrorist attack.  This was witnessed in real time, via a camera-equipped drone, by officials here in the U.S.

"They stood, and they watched, and our people died," former CIA commander Gary Berntsen told CBS News.  

DOES THIS MATTER? .........  

HELLO?  ... are you out there?  Can ONE of the millions who voted for him, answer me?   

Because our president will not.

Picking up the pieces

Lots of emotions.  Disappointment, disillusionment, sadness, worry ..... to name a few.  Losing is crap.  We cannot simply bid good luck to all those who voted for more debt and Socialism, as they sit triumphantly on the deck of the Titanic, headed towards the iceberg.  We must stay on the boat with them, clinging to the railings for dear life.

But we have life jackets called the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  And there are enough life jackets on board for all who accept them.  This is the shining light in the storm.  This is our real hope.  As Ezra Benson, former president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and Secretary of Agriculture in the Eisenhower administration, warned ... "The Constitution will be saved, but not in Washington."   His sobering words:

"It is imperative that American citizens become alerted and informed regarding the threat to our welfare, happiness, and freedom.  No American is worthy of citizenship in this great land, who refuses to take an active interest in these important matters."

Then let's BALANCE that with the encouraging words of Gordon Hinckley, also a former president of the same church: 

"The gospel means 'good news.' The message of the Lord is one of hope and salvation. The voice of the Lord is a voice of glad tidings. The work of the Lord is a work of glorious and certain reward. I do not suggest that you simply put on rose-colored glasses to make the world look rosy. I ask, rather, that you look above and beyond the negative, the critical, the cynical, the doubtful, to the positive. 
Said the Lord in a dark and troubled hour to those he loved, 'Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid' (John 14:27)."


So let's turn these defeating emotions around.   Don't forget that we ARE on the winning team!  Resolve yet again, to stay focused on the light.  In the end, it does not matter as much who or what kind of person lives in the White House.  

It really matters what kind of person lives in my house.  And in your house.  

Obama's Plan

President Obama has just released a booklet titled, "The New Patriotism".  In this booklet, complete with some flattering photos of him showing his constant and all-knowing concern for his adoring fans Americans, there are ten sections:  Economy, Manufacturing, Energy, Small Businesses, Education, Tax Plan, Health Care, Retirement and Moving America Forward.   This is his plan for American, if we kindly elect him for another four years.

Here are a few snippets (in red) and, of course, my thoughts.  

President Obama’s policies have helped manufacturing rebound, creating nearly 500,000 jobs in the last 31 months.

We own a small manufacturing business.  I have no idea what policies this is talking about. As far as the increase in jobs, it all depends on private vs government jobs, the timing, and a lot of other tedious factors which, if I listed them all, you and I would both collapse in boredom.  Just know that numbers and stats are easily skewed to make any argument look good.

Obama will strengthen our schools by recruiting 100,000 math and science teachers, training 2 million workers for real jobs at community colleges, and cutting tuition growth in half.

How will he pay for this?  Did you know that whenever the government subsidizes something, its cost will go up?  This includes education.  The rate of increase of college tuitions has far exceeded the rate of inflation.    

By eliminating special loopholes and tax breaks that benefit big business and the wealthiest – as part of a balanced deficit reduction plan that also cuts spending we can’t afford – we can grow our economy without burdening our children and grandchildren with debt. 

Isn't this exactly what Gov. Romney proposed, which Obama criticized for its lack of specifics .... ie. what loopholes?  

President Obama has put forward a specific, balanced plan of spending cuts and revenue increases providing more than $4 trillion in deficit reduction over the next decade, without ending guaranteed benefits in Medicare or slashing Social Security. 

In 2008, candidate Obama promised to cut the deficit, which feeds the national debt, in half.  As we all know, the debt has now topped 16 trillion.  So cutting 4 trillion from the deficit over the next decade, doesn't even bring the debt down to the 2008 level.

"I said I would cut taxes for small businesses - who are the drivers and engines of growth - and we've cut them 18 times.  

Again, as a small business owner, we are wondering about those 18 tax cuts.  

Upon taking office, President Obama inherited the largest deficit in history, 

largely caused by putting the costs of two wars on a credit card.

President Obama would commit half of the money saved from responsibly 

ending wars in Iraq and Afghanistan to reducing the deficit and the other 

half to putting Americans back to work rebuilding roads, bridges, runways, 

and schools here in the United States.

If the cost of the wars was put on a "credit card", then with the end of those wars, how is it that we now have money to spend?   There is no money!   Doesn't this mean that all those roads, bridges, runways, and schools must ALSO go on that credit card?   This is the same rationalization I use when I return a $20 sweater to the store, then use that credit to buy a $20 pair of jeans, and then say that the jeans were free.

President Obama's plan keeps middle-class tax cuts in place and reduces the deficit by finall asking millionaires and billionaires to pay their fair share.

The top 1 percent of income earners paid 38.7% of income taxes in 2009, and the top 20 percent paid 94.1%.  This means that 80 percent of the population pay only 5.9% of the nation's income tax.   Is THAT fair?  (If only Steve Jobs had given his money to the government to spend on Solyndra, or the Volt, or entitlement programs, .... instead of building Apple and creating all those darn jobs.)

"Asking a billionaire to pay at least as much as his secretary in taxes?  Most Americans would call that common sense."

This statement is misleading and our president knows it.  It is the classic apples and oranges comparison.  It does not explain the difference between income tax and capital gains tax.

Income is what we receive in our paychecks.  Capital gains is what we earn by investing our savings.  Those investments -- or in other words -- loans to others for starting new businesses, building homes, or other ventures ..... create jobs.  The returns we receive by investing our savings are capital gains.  If the tax on those returns goes up, money gained from investing goes down and as a result, we are more motivated to just stuff our savings into our mattresses .... so to speak.  Therefore, less money will be circulating and available for lending and growth.

Remember, all savings came from money that was previously earned and taxed as income.  Raising the capital gains tax discourages job growth.  Comparing the billionaire's income tax to the secretary's income tax, the billionaire pays a much higher rate.  Comparing the billionaire's capital gains with the secretary's capital gains, the tax rate is the same.

His statement above, is comparing the billionaire's capital gains tax (apples) to the secretary's income tax (oranges).  

Apparently Obama does not want us to understand this.  Maybe this is because the truth does not help his argument.

If you vote for Barack Obama, you are voting for his plan.  You really ought to read it.

P.S.  Please excuse the screwy font -- spacing, size, etc.  "Blogger" (the site) and I don't always get along.