Truth hurts, Part two

Continuing from the previous post.

I responded with another message:

"I just want to say that your son is very fortunate to have a family and to be in a home where he's loved.  You are a blessing to him and he to you.  Will he, at some point, want more information about his bio-parents?  Most likely.  Will he, at some point, wish he had a dad?  Possibly.  If he does, please don't make him think there's something wrong with him.***  Obviously I don't know him or you, but I know human nature, and I know about raising boys.  

(Name withheld), you asked me to explain my opinion and so I did.  Then you shot me down for doing so.  I am not responsible for human nature.  I did not create it.  It just is what it is.  I spoke the truth and I cannot help if it hurts.  There is a difference, beyond the physical, between men and women.  We all know it, and society fully recognizes it ....until it comes to raising children and suddenly it has been decided that there is no difference between a mom and dad.  I'm saying children need both and one cannot be the other.  And neither is expendable.  I'm sorry if that's hurtful to you.  I can only say it as gently as I can.  But I must be honest.

I am not ashamed of my words.  You can post them wherever you want and say whatever you choose about them or me.  I will not back down.  Children cannot speak up so someone has to.  

Believe it or not, I wish the best for your family.  May your son thrive and be happy.  Thanks to you, he has a chance for a good life.  I mean that."

***According to personal accounts of those who have lived it, this has happened.  

Afterwards she sent a terse note, giving me a thorough tongue-lashing and ended with the instruction to not contact her again.  It was not a public message and so, out of respect for her privacy, I won't print it here.  

And there you have it.  I tried to not color the conversation, but just put it out there.  You are free to decide what you think.   Hopefully, other conversations are happening, in which all sides are allowed to be heard.

On a positive note, I received a lovely and thoughtful private message from one of the other campers who had seen the exchange in the forum ... thanking me for my "courage and kindness".  He was referring to the private message I wrote to her that she published for all to see.  (See previous post, link above.)  Did his message brighten my day?  More than I can say.  However, who will brighten her day?  And I don't know if that's even possible until enough people embrace her beliefs and all dissenters are completely drowned out.  And maybe not even then....

 We are on that proverbial slippery slope.  And we haven't hit the bottom yet.  LBGTs are not bad people, anymore than "Straights" are good.  Blanket statements are meaningless.  Honestly, my heart goes out to them.  I wish there was an easy answer.   

Twenty years ago, we never saw the issue of gay marriage coming nor would we have believed it would..... and we can't yet see what's ahead.  If not for those eternal truths in which I have placed my faith, I'd be worried .... even scared.    

P.S.  Please read this post next.

Truth hurts sometimes (a spontaneous exchange re: gay marriage)

(I apologize for all the weird highlighting and spacing in this post.  Sometimes the blogger program has a mind and will of its own.)

*********

I am involved in a discussion forum about camping, particularly about camping with travel trailers and other RVs manufactured by one particular company.  The conversation among this group of fellow happy campers is typically light, helpful, humorous, and friendly.  I love camping.  They love camping.  Kindred spirits.

Until one happy camper started a thread about the upcoming Fourth of July holiday including the sacrifices of our forefathers and the Declaration of Independence.    Another camper brought up the recent Supreme Court ruling legalizing gay marriage.   She and her spouse, who is also a woman, are pleased, as would be expected.  Others in the forum expressed cautious concern about the ruling and the possible direction it would take us.  As far as I could tell, there was no malice nor personal attacks whatsoever.  Just honest opinions, stated politely.  Then she said:

"Gee. I didn't believe it was possible to feel bad on a day like today. But I think you guys have managed it. Think I'll take a break for awhile."

And I, who cannot hold my opinion back, spoke up several posts later:

"I am deeply saddened about the direction our beloved country is going and disagree with the recent rulings of the Supreme Court. That said, I strongly believe that everyone, regardless of their opinions and lifestyles, deserves to treated kindly, respectfully, and fairly.  Discrimination in jobs, housing, etc., is wrong.  That's the person I was taught to be by my Christian faith.
At the same time, that respect must go both ways and I, as one who will always believe in traditional marriage as it has been defined in all major societies throughout history, hope to receive the same respect.  And if we ever cross paths in a campground, may we sit around the campfire as friends sharing marshmallows."   

Then, a few posts down, I added:


"I think it's pretty great that, in spite of our different opinions, we can come together over our mutual love for camping."  

During the course of this conversation, this person quoted me (the part in blue) and asked:

"I want to make sure I understand what you're saying.  Do you believe that my family should not have the same protections under the law that your family enjoys?"

About this time another person came on and suggested this conversation be taken to another forum.  Good call, on his part.  So to respect that, I answered her via a private message:  (Quoted in its entirety.  Read all, part, or none, if you care.)

"I wish to respectfully answer your question about your family having the same protections under the law, as others.  

I would have preferred those protections be achieved legally through a civil union, including the same tax benefits, inheritance, hospital visiting privileges, etc. I don't wish to deny anyone of their constitutional rights or protections. And I understand the desire to spend your life with the one you love. Anyone with a heart sympathizes with that.  

But at the same time, I feel very strongly that societies must be set up to give the highest possible protections for the most innocent and voiceless .... children. Children need both their father and their mother, and neither should ever be considered optional or replaceable. I believe God/nature intended it this way, otherwise conception would have been designed differently. I fear that the legalization of gay marriage will lead to more gay parenting where, without exception, the children must sacrifice one parent, in exchange for another. Children should never be expected to pay such a price to suit the needs of an adult. I feel the same about divorce. It should be avoided if at all possible.

Please let me stress .... I am not saying that LGBTs are any less loving and devoted to their children. I believe they can be just as wonderful parents as anyone. But no one, regardless of whom, can completely replace a child's own biological parents. Human beings have an innate attachment to their biological roots. Some may bury it deeply in their soul, but it's there nonetheless and is one of the things that separates us from other life forms. Please also let me stress that I whole-heartedly endorse adoption. In situations where both parents cannot marry and raise their child together, then adoption into a stable, married two-parent home with a mom and a dad, is a blessing from heaven. But never should a child's birth be planned, before conception, to include adoption. That would be putting the desires of the adult ahead of the needs of the child. I also feel that any home with a loving parent is better than no home, for those children who have little to no chance of adoption. 

I do not understand how our society values the presence and input of both sexes in places like employment, government, juries, and even in the Supreme Court itself (and how it) acknowledges readily, that there are indeed differences between men and women, otherwise it wouldn't matter if there was a balance of both in any situation. Yet, the presence and input of both sexes in raising a child has been deemed unimportant. This is why the Supreme Court ruling saddens me. I raised three sons and a daughter and know I could not have filled the inevitable void, had they not had their dad too. There were countless times they needed just me, and countless times they needed only him. And without question, they needed both their parents together. They still do.

Finally, as I said in my post, respect and civility are so very important. I can love someone and do all I can to support their family, while disagreeing with their choices or lifestyle. I do not mean to offend or hurt, just to speak the truth as I see it. The needs of children must come first. Our opinions differ, but hopefully, again as I said, if we ever meet, we can still be friends."

Then on the public thread, the conversation veered to hotdogs and other pertinent political leanings with the usual cheerful banter.  A few hours later I checked back and found that she had posted my private message in the public forum, along with her response:  


"Since you put your oiginal posting here, where it is available for all to see,as I did with my question to you, I feel it is only fair that your reply be posted publicly as well. It is all too convenient to make sweeping statments in public and soften them in private. I have had a stomach full of this in my life. 

Your answer tells me that, with all respect, you do not believe that my family is equal to yours. You wish us to have legal protections, but only if we call it something less than what you have. In actuality, we are all "civilly united." Perhaps all marriage licenses should be called that, and those who wish to have a religious designation can seek that somewhere else. 

The trouble with making general statements about what you believe, without meaning to offend or hurt, is that you are actually talking about REAL PEOPLE LIKE ME. I am not a concept, or a political ideology. I do not live a "lifestyle" anymore than you live a "lifestyle". This is my actual life. And everytime you say, however "respectfully" that my family is not as good as yours because we don't have a father in the house and that "gay parenting", whatever that is, will never be as good as the parenting in your house, you hurt me. And you hurt my child. 

Where your "belief" does not hold water is about the children. I would like to know where the straight mothers and fathers were when my son was lying in an orphanage unwanted by all the mother and father units out there? Oh, but wait! You allow that "any home is better than no home." So, I guess we're better than dirt, at least. 

What I am trying to tell you is that we are not talking about having different "opinions" here. This is my life you are talking about. This is our son's life you are talking about. So, please, do not pretend we are merely having a difference of opinion. 

Friends are people who are equals. How could I possibly feel welcome around your campfire knowing that you feel our family is second rate? What would we tell our son after we roasted marshmallows over your campfire?  

You are, as a free citizen of this country, of course entitled to any thought you would like to have in your head. But the minute you put these things out there for other people to see or hear, it hurts me. And it hurts our son. Just know that."



Soon after that, the thread was closed... which was wise and sad, at the same time.  Campers are supposed to be happy, and there was no happiness happening here.

Bottom line:  It's human nature to demonize someone you see as your opponent in order to feel better about yourself.  We're all tempted to do this once in a while, especially when the facts are not on your side.  As long as she can think of me as evil, selfish, unfeeling, or what have you, she feels justified in demonizing my opinion as well.   I've seen this happen many times in Liberal/Conservative interactions.  We say they are wrong and give facts.  They say we are bad and express emotion.  And they often get away with it. 

So forget about free speech, or the respect for differing opinions.  I am "entitled to any thought I would like to have in my head" ...... but not to speak it.  Because it might hurt someone's feelings. 

Forget speaking up for truth and common sense.  Feelings and emotions of the most vocal and militant are all that matter in this sadly upside-down world.  



Part two coming.  

Last minute thoughts on the 2014 mid-term election

Race-bating

Politicians keep their power by stirring up people who they think are likely to vote for them.  Most African Americans vote Democrat so some, if not many, Democrat politicians continue to spread the myth that racism still thrives in a country that elected a black president twice, and that a (sympathetic and loving) Democrat-led government is the answer to their problems.  

(Of course there are still racists here and there.  There are idiots in every crowd.  There are anti-Mormons out there too, along with anti-Christians, anti-short people, anti-vegetarians, etc., etc., and I've even encountered some "ageism" in my now senior status.  What we need is anti-stupid.)

The truth is that America has evolved into the least racist country on the planet. White-against-Black atrocities, a horror of our past, are actually rare within our borders nowadays, yet the media thrives on it....often creating it where it isn't.  Black-against-Black atrocities are rampant and deadly, yet hardly mentioned and Black-against-White crime is completely ignored, as far as the media is concerned.  The real solutions for all able-bodied individuals in our free society must come from themselves.  Asian-Americans, in general, figured this out long ago in spite of the persecution they endured.  This principle is true for Whites, Browns, Purples, Greens .....  or whatever group thinks they are victimized.

African-Americans, like everyone, must begin with their families.  They must stop producing babies sentenced to grow up without their dads.  The stats are horrible.  It's a well-known fact that fatherless boys are more likely to end in jail, and fatherless girls will likely produce more fatherless homes.  Intact families with married parents would greatly lessen poverty and crime among their ranks.   Such families lead to better education for their children and are more likely to instill old-fashioned, time-tested values like hard work, accountability, and self-respect.  As soon as some Blacks (and others) figure this out and stop blaming society, they will begin to spiral upward.  Again, this is true for all colors, sizes, shapes, or what have you.

Have we heard ONE politician say this?   Government can't fix what individual choice breaks and the politician or activist who says or implies otherwise....is wrong.   The day when people begin to fix their own problems will be the day when some lucrative careers that feed on victimization, become obsolete.  The Al Sharptons, Jesse Jacksons, and a slew of elected officials would have to go find actual jobs.  


Voter ID

This is not on a ballot but Democrat pundits love to trot it out as an example of Republican "voter suppression" and happily emphasize how it's another despicable dig at minorities (see race-bating)...along with other scary doom and gloom that a Republican Congress would bring.  

But I wonder how they get off insulting certain groups by saying they are too incompetent to get some form of ID?  It is easily attainable for legal citizens and we can't do much in this world without it.  I am a proponent of such a law, if it ever becomes a law ..... and the ONLY people whose vote would actually be suppressed would be those who have no constitutional right to vote in the first place.  If you are not a legal citizen, or you have already voted, or you are dead, or you never existed .... you really shouldn't be voting.  If you have a right to vote then be grateful, GET INFORMED, show your ID, and VOTE!  

Clear enough?


The (stupid) War on Women

More silly doom and gloom that I think (hope) people are beginning to see for what it is.  
1. Elected Republicans are not trying to take away a woman's "right to choose".   We have had several solely Republican-led governments since Roe VS Wade, and abortion is still legal.   
2. No one is snatching away our birth control.  If we want it, we can pay for it.
3. If women REALLY were not receiving "equal pay for equal work" then businesses would replace all their male employees with females to save on payroll costs.  Think about it.  

The Senate

If Republicans win it back, then good riddance to Senate leader, Harry Reid. The man has damaged his party as well as the country.  Republicans, who hold the majority in the House of Representatives, have been labeled as "the party of No" with the reputation of getting nothing done.  However, they have passed bill after bill which are then sent to the Democrat-led Senate where said bills never again see the light of day, much less make it to the president for his signature or his veto ....  thanks to Mr. Reid. 

As you may recall, during Obama's first two years, Democrats led both the House and the Senate, along with the White House.  That is how we got our **lovely** Affordable Care Act, aka Obamacare.  Remember Sen. Pelosi's (then Dem. House leader) infamous words ....?  

"We have to pass the bill so you can find out what's in it."  

Well, Madam Speaker, we found out.  

As Mitt Romney recently said, (paraphrasing) ....with a Republican House AND Senate (meaning a Congress which will actually send bills all the way to the Oval Office) we will soon see who REALLY is the party of No.


Mr. President

He is not actually on the ballot, but he is all over it.  He is so unpopular right now that campaigning Democrats across the country, who are fighting to keep their jobs, do not want him anywhere near them.  Some even refuse to admit they voted for him.  

(Please allow me to wallow briefly in frustration ..... Why didn't voters SEE this two years ago???????)

I get upset at the unimpassioned political "talking heads" on TV who now, in all their pompous feigned-unbiased-ness, list Obama's failings yet say nothing about how THEY were all for him in '12.  There were plenty of failings to list back then and yet THEY helped get him re-elected!


So there it is.  

Bottom line:  IN MY OPINION, if you are informed, please vote.  If you have chosen to be uninformed, maybe skip the voting and organize a closet, or rotate the tires, or take a long walk .... the leaves are beautiful right now.  

That's not suppression.  It's just a friendly suggestion.    




   



   

Healing blessings ..... why?

(Please be patient .... there IS a point here.)

I believe that the same healing power used by Jesus Christ when he lived here on earth, still exists and is accessible today. 

This power is called the priesthood and it is how He does what He does.  All worthy men who have covenanted with God through baptism, have the responsibility to accept ordination so to be able to utilize this power to DO as Jesus would do if he was physically here.   (Getting to the point) .... And one of the many things Jesus DID, was give healing blessings.  Actual healing blessings ..... like when one goes from sick to cured, IF being cured will give the individual the best shot, so to speak, at exaltation/heaven.   Sometimes it won't, and He gives us strength and comfort to endure that from which we must learn.

The concept of healing blessings should be familiar to anyone who has read the Bible.  Christ healed many people from things like blindness, leprosy, injuries, and even death.  The process today is that two priesthood-bearing men, through what is called the "laying on of hands" and the anointing of oil, call upon God in prayer, to direct His healing powers to the one who is sick.  It happened anciently.  It happens today. 

(Still getting to the point) ...... So what about when priesthood-bearers aren't available?  On that note, you might ask about the people of Corinth when Christ was in Galilee?  Were the sick or injured Corinthians just out of luck?  

No.

Because reason tells us God would not leave the Corinthians, or us, up a creek.  He gave us prayer.  God is always available and nearby and anyone can pray for His help.  (Almost there!)

So then, the question arises ....... if prayer can save us, why do we need priesthood blessings?  I've wondered this for years and am pretty sure you've wondered it too.   Hence, the POINT(!) of this blog post....

I had an epiphany..... ta-da!  

Consider this:   If you are LDS, you've sat in many Sacrament Meetings and have seen the Sacrament administered countless times.  By whom?   The Deacons, Teachers, and Priests, AKA holders of the Aaronic priesthood.  Does the Bishop and his councilors have the authority to administer the sacrament?  

Yes.  

So why don't they do it?  

They could do it, but it isn't their job.  And if they DID do it, who learns from it?  Who gains the much needed experience?  The order of the Church is to let each of us do what we are responsible to do.  If Aaronic priesthood holders are not there, then the Bishop, who is presiding, and others can step in and the ordinance rolls on.  

The Lord authored the priesthood.  It's His.  He holds every right to utilize it in every possible way.  Hence, He can heal.  So when His priesthood-bearing servants are not able do their job, we can ask HIM step in and apply His power.   And prayer is the simple, faithful request that He do so.  Just like asking the Bishop to step in, if needed, to administer the sacrament.  If priesthood bearers are available, we are to call on them to do their job.  If not, we have a direct line to the One who can, and will, step in and send His blessing, through His priesthood.  There is a procedure, a process, or in other words, a proper order for things to be done, and it's all by the same priesthood power, one way ..... or the other.  

Because ...... Doctrine and Covenants 132:8  "Behold, mine house is a house of order, saith the Lord God....."

Done.

Silenced

If you are one of my Facebook friends, you may have seen some of my posts on the Ordain Women page.  I have been there vehemently defending my church against the onslaught of negativity and confronting the inconsistencies of their arguments.  

For example ..... an opinion piece of one OW supporter was published in the The Washington Post, about how the Church is attempting to "silence" dissenters.  Silence?  ..... Take a moment to see the irony.........  I did some googling and found that The Washington Post is the most widely circulated newspaper published in Washington DC.  And she's in it, claiming that she's being...... silenced.  The only place the Church CAN restrict anyone from publicly spreading false doctrine and doubt is on Church property and in Church publications, which it has every right to do.  The critics have the rest of the world to air their opinions.  And they are taking full advantage of that.  

Another example ..... OW supporters are complaining that some LDS bloggers are being called in by church leaders for publishing false doctrine under the guise of a faithful member.   Some are calling the Church, "Big Brother". 

Do you see the irony here?  They put their words on the internet, AKA the "World Wide Web".  Where... who can see it?  The world!  And.... somebody saw it!  Gasp!  Their computers were not hacked, nor did anyone eaves-drop.  They put it out there.  And they are free to continue putting it out there.  They just are not free to misrepresent or slander the Church, AS a member of that church.  

My words to them on Facebook have been painstakingly respectful, but firm.  This is my church too and I deserve a voice.  What they're doing affects me and my loved ones.  I have not insulted anyone, nor have I suggested that anyone leave the Church.  Quite the opposite.  I have pleaded with them to stay.  We need them and they need us.  

Now, as of a few minutes ago, they have blocked me from their Facebook page.  I can no longer comment there.  My previous comments are gone.  In that forum, I have been ..... silenced.   At the same time, those people who control the OW Facebook page and who claim to love the Church, are allowing those comments by non-LDS people, that falsely accuse the Church of dishonesty, to remain.

They have the right to block anyone they choose from their page.  But they have done to me, the very thing that they accuse our church leaders of doing to them.  

Isn't it ironic?  

So I will follow their lead, and take my opinions elsewhere.  As in .... right here.  As long as I have a voice and as long as my beloved church is under attack either internally or externally, I will not be silenced.  

But I strongly doubt The Washington Post will be calling me.

****************
Update:  OW put this statement on their Facebook page:

"Reminder: This page is maintained by the group Ordain Women. We reserve the right to delete comments that are aggressive, derogatory, and/or hurtful." 

NOT ONE of my comments could be described as this, other than the possible explanation that truth sometimes does hurt.  I was very careful in what I said.  I disagreed with them and told them why.  I expressed my feelings about my church and its doctrine.  I urged them to stay.  If you don't know me, feel free to judge my words by my previous posts in this blog.  

I have also learned that others have been blocked from their page also .... including a few people I know personally.  I have never seen one word of disrespect from these people, ever.  Their voices have been gentle and caring.  I understand blocking rudeness and disrespect.  But that was NOT the case here.   

Finally, comments that are derogatory and disrespectful towards my church, are still there.  They were not deleted. 

Hypocrisy?  You decide. 

My Take on Mother's Day

I want to be clear right off the bat.  I had a good mother, although for only nine brief years of my life.  I had many mother-figures, or stand-in moms if you will, to help fill the void after her death.  Not to mention a first-rate dad.  I grew up believing adults were kind and safe and good.  Hence, I have always projected that image onto God, whom I credit for my happy life.  Furthermore, I was and am a good mom.  I don't feel guilt.  I was not perfect by any means, but I know I did my best in raising my kids.  Their childhoods were happy and secure.  Top that off with the dearest husband this world has ever produced.  I am and always have been blessed beyond words.

But Mother's Day kind of irritates me and here's why.

Greeting card and florist industries have fostered the obligation that anyone with a mother, must spend time and resources one certain day each year, so as to avoid hurt on her part, and guilt on everyone else's.  Of course it is all meant to be an expression of love and/or honor, but why on this one day?  Why is this one Sunday in May any different than the other 364 days on the calendar?  Who gave this one day such power over us?

Phone calls, gifts, visits, flowers and whatnot .... who doesn't love them?  But not mixed with obligation.  When the two elements are combined, the result is too often duty and a checklist.  It is the difference, on the part of the giver, between being prodded and reminded to express love .... and simply wanting to.   In my opinion, expressions of love should be motivated by that love.  And not by anything else.

But each year, against my will, somehow this one day messes with my head and creates an expectation in me that I am owed something.  The meal not cooked by me.  The cookie at church.  (I've even been known, to my shame, to grumble inwardly when it WASN'T a cookie but was a silly flower that rarely made it home intact ......)  The call.  The card.  The gift.  And, in spite of my best efforts to expect nothing, I still kind of do.  And why?  I can attend church every other Sunday of the year and NOT be handed a cookie and am fine with it.  Any other day can go by without hearing from my kids and I still feel loved.  In other words, Mother's Day foists upon me annoying feelings of obligation and entitlement which somehow detract from the love expressed.

Needless to say, I won't wear a tacky corsage on Mother's Day to show the world that my husband has done his job and one-up the poor woman whose husband hasn't.

Imagine for a moment, or think back to when ..... you got a random phone call, a note, a Facebook message, a gift, an act of service ..... FOR NO REASON OTHER THAN SOMEONE THOUGHT OF YOU.   You must admit, you were touched to your core, were't you.  It zinged right into your heart, didn't it.  This is what I mean.  There was no expectation nor obligation nor a date on the calendar .... just love ... and thoughtfulness.  To me, THAT is what a gift should be.

I know my kids love me.  I feel it from them every time I'm around them.  And we say it.  The greatest gift they can give me is their own happiness.  Regarding my own mother, I honor her often in my heart.  Therefore, I don't need a Mother's Day.  I have it EVERY day.

On the lighter side .... My stab at an SNL routine

Daily "debriefing" at the White House

Obama to aide:  Soooo, got the checklist?

Aide:  Yessir.  Got it.

Obama:  Okay, let's see ..... Has Putin been warned again today?

Aide:  Check.

Obama:  Is Biden still contained ... have you checked the lock on his room lately?

Aide:  Did it myself, Sir.

Obama:  Time to feed the media some more of that "war on women" crap.  Better get on that today.

Aide:  Yessir.

Obama:  IRS emails destroyed?

Aide:  Check.

Obama:  Reid got his payoff?

Aide:  Check.

Obama:  Before I forget, if Hillary calls, I'm not in.  Okay?

Aide:  Got her on The List, Sir.    

Obama:  How about the Obamacare numbers ....are they cooked enough yet?  Gotta hit 7 mil. by Tuesday.  Except remember .... I don't know anything.  Got that?  

Aide:  Yessir.  

Obama:  Be sure to let the networks know I'll want some primetime to crow about our enrollment success.  

Aide:  Yessir.  Except they may not .....

Obama:  Hmmmmmm ...... Didn't we mention sending a plate of those pot-laced brownies over to the DOJ ..... did that happen?  

Aide:  Yessir.

Obama:  Did ya save one for me?

Aide:  Inside piece, Sir.  Just like you like 'em.

Obama:  Good, good.  Oh, and by the way, be sure Michelle doesn't see that case of Marlboros I ordered.

Aide:  Never, Sir.

Obama:  Okie dokie then ..... looks good.  I'm hitting' the greens.  See ya tomorrow.

Aide:  Enjoy, Sir.